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A clinician’s guide to the terms we use — and why they matter. From a religious trauma therapist Gilbert AZ. As religious trauma therapists in Gilbert, Arizona, we hear these words used interchangeably almost every week: religion, spirituality, cult, abuse, trauma. And almost every week, we watch a client’s shoulders drop a little when we […]

Religion, Spirituality, Cults, and Religious Trauma: What’s the Difference?

Four overlapping circles labeled Religion, Spirituality, Cults, and Trauma, representing the related but distinct concepts explained in this guide to religious trauma terminology.

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Eight tactics, one hub: control In 1993, the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project developed a framework to help survivors and clinicians understand the tactics abusers use to maintain power in intimate relationships. It’s called the Power and Control Wheel, and it has become one of the most widely used tools in domestic violence advocacy. What’s striking […]

The Power and Control Wheel: How High-Control Religion Mirrors Abuse

Control doesn't require a villain. It just requires a system where one party's compliance benefits another party's power — and enough tactics in place to keep it that way.

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And what it means to begin healing She was eight years old when she first looked in the mirror and imagined herself as a bride. Not because she was a romantic child. Because she had been taught — clearly, repeatedly, with posters on the wall and lessons in class — that her highest purpose was […]

Religious Trauma Syndrome in Women: When Faith Becomes a Wound

She was taught to see a bride in the mirror before she knew what she wanted. She was taught her body was a problem. Her doubts were sin. Her instincts couldn't be trusted. That has a name. It's called Religious Trauma Syndrome.

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Who am I, if I’m not who they told me to be? One of the most common things I hear from clients who have left a high-control religion or cult isn’t ‘I don’t know what to believe anymore.’ It’s something quieter and more disorienting: ‘I don’t know who I am.’ Not what they believe. Not […]

Reclaiming Your Identity After a Cult or High-Control Religion

Figure: The many facets of cultural identity — race/ethnicity, gender, age, SES status/class, religion, sexual orientation, language, and mental/physical ability — all interacting to form a whole person.

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And What It Means for Your Healing Have you ever tried to explain your experience in a high-control religious group to someone who wasn’t there — and watched their eyes glaze over? “But wasn’t it your choice to stay?” they ask. Or: “Why didn’t you just leave?” These questions, however well-meaning, miss something fundamental: leaving […]

The BITE Model: How Cults and High-Control Religion Control Every Part of Your Life

● The BITE Model: a therapist's guide to understanding cult control

Mellissa grew up in Southern California in a large family, heavily involved in high control conservative religion. She went on to attend college at Brigham Young University-Idaho where she studied sociology and family studies. She then spent 10 years as a stay at home parent. Life pivoted for Mellissa when she experienced a divorce and faith transition and began her own work in therapy.

She spent 5 years as an educator while obtaining her masters degree in professional counseling. She has spent the last 4 years specializing her practice to help others going through major unexpected life transitions, finding healing in the present moment and creating futures that align with their core values. Mellissa’s personal experiences, combined with her specialized expertise and focused study, create a uniquely supportive and effective clinical practice for individuals navigating major life transitions.

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